This is beautiful.
The best. The absolute best.
they’re different every time wheezes
(Source: poke-problems, via randompanser)
Day 112 - DEPRESSION
As some know I have Depression. I hate it. Sometimes I wish I had any disease other than a mental illness. Some days I feel like the opposite of the addict that is just trying to feel numb; I just want to feel something, anything really. I can never bring myself to physically harm myself; at the same time I don’t take a lot of caution to prevent it either. I’ve been lucky so far in my 31 years that I haven’t done something that has killed me or left me physically disabled. Sure I got drunk every chance I got and I’ve rode around in cars with my friends who probably shouldn’t have been behind the wheel. I even let my curiosity get the better of me and let some one do something to me that they should have done. I still do not blame myself for what happened because I was a child and they were an adult and therefore should have known better, but that’s a different story. “Normal” people think that it is easy to be happy and to feel things, but they don’t know what it feels like to see the obstacle in front of you and know there’s a way around it but not be able to see it. They don’t know what the difference is between outgrowing something they love and just losing interest in it for no apparent reason. They don’t realize what it’s like to know there is good in the world and know that they are loved but still not be able to feel better. I am on medication for my depression but I can tell that it’s time to change it because I still want to sleep all day, which a couple months ago was a normal thing for me because of the dark skies and dreary weather but I shouldn’t still feel like wanting to do that. Maybe my body has built up a resistance to the medication I’m on now, I mean I have been taking it for around 16 years now. I wish the answer was as simple as just change your view on your life and the world and everything will get better but it’s not. It’s difficult to live with depression and hard to live with some one who has depression because even know I don’t think I’ve really given a clear view of what it’s like. I hope maybe I’ve made it a little clearer to some. One more thing one of the worse things you can do if you know some one who takes any mood altering medication is to ask them if they’ve been taking it when you see they are having a bad day. Instead ask if they’re okay or if there is anything you can do to help and just let them know you’re there if they need or want to talk about it.
Day 108 - QUESTION
Why is it when something horrible happens like school shootings or bombings its okay for news networks to talk about them 24/7 but networks feel the need to pull episodes that fictionally depict these same events? Maybe its just me but I would rather see it as fiction than have it repeated a million times as fact.
i have childhood memories that i am not 100% sure actually happened or if i dreamed them i really do not know
Day 105
Its been a while since I’ve posted. The last three weeks I’ve been making sure the laundry gets done and dinner gets cooked. All of this because my mom ended up with a strain of blood poisoning. She is doing much better, I’m happy to say. The reason I’m writing today though is because I’m watching the first part of the 80’s special on National Geographic. I was born in 1982 but I still remember quite a bit of that decade. The problem is because of the things going on in my entire life I never noticed all the historical milestones that I’ve lived through. I’ve lived through a President being shot and still survive, that same person brought down the Berlin wall. There was computers becoming mainstream. The birth of Mtv, rock and rap merging. My advice to anyone reading this is don’t ignore what is going on around you, even if what’s going on isn’t something you’re interested in still take note of it because what you experience today may inspire what comes tomorrow.
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Here’s my mash up that goes with the Cup Song! Please share if you like it! :D
Holy shit, yes.
Best use of Cards Agains Humanity, ever.
(Source: mypotsylife)
I got inspired some more
(via thisfeliciaday)
Day Eighty-Four
So for a couple weeks my mom had been feeling tired and weak, during those two weeks she had had her blood drawn. Thursday she had blood drawn again, she had lost 1/3 of her red blood cells. The doctors said she had blood poisoning, what she has is called enterococcus. She has to take penicillin and gentamicin. She will be in the hospital for 2-6 weeks. This puts a lot of pressure on me to take core of my dad and the house.
